30

I will be 30 in thirteen days. I was kinda bummed about getting so old, but then I remembered, it's my birthday who cares how old I am! Spring Break is right after my birthday and Ben is planning a fantastic party in New Orleans with some of my friends. Now I can't wait to turn 30! Turning 30 means seeing my friends that I have been missing dearly. Come on 30!

By the way, thanks to everyone who has donated $30 to my Mission Year birthday fund! We have almost raised all our support! Click here if you want to make a birthday donation!

News

The local paper did an interview on us if anyone is interested.
In a small town I suppose you can get attention for just about anything!

A Few Recent Picures

Amin's 5th Birthday

Us with the birthday boy!


Mavi and her cupcake pop

Mmmmm

Laughter

Sometimes living community makes me want to retreat to my room or escape from the house. Lately though, unless I am at school, I would rather be at home. I know it safe there. It sometimes is the only place where I can stop all the busyiness. But even at home we are often entertaining/hanging our neighbors and roommates. Most of us have been frustrated this past month, for various reasons but last night we were we all gathered in my room, let some steam off, shared some frustrations, and ended up laughing harder than I have in quite a while. It felt good, really good.

It's gets easy to lose sight of why we are here in the midst of the busyiness. I am here to share Christ with my neighborhood. I am here to live in Christian community. Busyiness is probably one of the main reasons I'm frustrated. It's not good to simply fill our days with doing, even if we are doing good things. It's good, so good to take time to stop and laugh and be goofy. We don't get enough of that these days. I am thankful for laughter.

Monday = not so bad!

Today was pretty good for a Monday. I am so proud of the accomplishments I am seeing in many of the kids with whom I work. Kendarious is becoming a reader. Today we read a whole book together. He is actually sounding out words and figuring them out, but he is also recalling most of this sight words. Best of all, he feels good about himself. Fifth grade today went much better than usual. The lesson was on the circumference of circles and my goal was to teach them how to use the formulas. They really seemed to catch on. Granted, this is because I broke the lesson up. State standards seem to push each kids along from topic to topic with out allowing enough time to truly master anything. I think many kids could understand if their teachers were given the time to truly teach instead of having to rush along their lessons to stay on scope and sequence.

Tonight it's my turn to cook for the group. I am making white chicken chili. I am happy about this for 2 reasons. #1 our meal is going to have chicken!!!!! #2 I love white chicken chili! I split Mavi's 3 layer bday cake into 6 layers, so tonight we have a whole other cake for desert too! Jamie and I also made molasses cookies last night. I can't wait for dinner!

The best weekend

This weekend was fantastic. The past couple weeks, and last week especially have been extremely taxing. Our days and weekends seem to always be filled with entertaining adults, kids, and trying to figure out this whole community things. We have had very little time for ourselves. This was definitely something we were warned about by others who have done Mission Year before us. Don't forget to take out time for yourself, and esp for you and your spouse. Sometimes living in community and showing hospitality can make finding time for yourself downright hard. But if you don't you will get frustrated and burned out.

On Friday night we went out to dinner and hung out with some of out our teammates. It was so fun getting away from the house and having dinner. Saturday morning while Ben and Dustin went to an all you can eat pancake breakfast, Jamie and I went to a neighborhood yoga class and it kicked my butt! Saturday afternoon a group from Columbus, the Social Justice League, came down and spent the day with us. They wanted to hear about how our experiences have been thus far with intentional community, what we thought it would be vs. what it actually is. It was great hanging out with them. Sometimes conversations we have and things we do seem forced. This was different. The whole day and the whole conversation seemed just to flow, it was natural. Later the guys showed them around town and shared more of the issues that plague LaGrange.

Saturday night Ben and I saw Alice and Wonderland. It was just wonderful. Sometimes relaxing at the movie theatre with delicious, unhealthy popcorn it just what the doctor ordered. But today was really the best day. Our group decided to forgo our regular church and instead celebrate God in the mountains. Pine Mountain is about 30 minutes from LaGrange and offers a gorgeous state park and a hiking trail. It was wonderful. Margareta shared this poem by Wendell Berry

The peace of wild things

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

It was beautiful. Sometimes we just need a reminder to just be. We don't need to worry about tomorrow or all the problems that face our world. We simply need to be in awe at the beauty of God's creation. Just be.



Margereta ringing the bells she found in the tree.



We found some huge pinecone on the trail and brought about 20 home. We decided they would be a great project for the kids at after school. Easter egg pinecones! The weather was gorgeous. Jamie and I sat on the porch and painted pinecone while some of the guys played catch with the neighborhood kids.

Today was also Mavi and Mohammad's birthday. I made them a chocolate cake and we had them over later to celebrate. This weeked was awesome! I am thankful for this weekend. It brought us closer together as a team and gave us a chance just enjoy each others company.

Community: No Thanks

Not only is living in community hard I think it's takes all the fun out of life. WHAT???? When you are just friends with others you get to choose how much time you spend together. Not so in community, or at least in our house. We are constantly around each other. It's impossible to stay sane living under these conditions. I get so MAD at myself for getting mad and moody for no apparent reason. I am having the hardest time not getting annoyed and not complaining.
I love my roommates, I think they are great people with big wonderful ideas and even bigger hearts. But we are forced to spend way to much time together. I try to be very open and honest with my feelings. I am not okay with pretending that I'm okay with everything when I am not. But that just make me look like a chronic complainer.

There is no room for individuals in community. Everything has to be done with the community in mind. But every community will be made of followers and leaders. Those who are leaders will naturally lead the group in doing or not doing certain things. But is it really because it's what the group wants. Or is it what the leader wants. There are those who will always have their voice and opinion heard loud over everyone else. Community is great for those who know they will get their way ultimately. I am not so sure I am buying into this whole community thing anymore.

There is no room for individuals in community. Everything has to be done with the community in mind. But every community will be made of followers and leaders. Those who are leaders will naturally lead the group in doing or not doing certain things. But is it really because it's what the group wants. Or is it what the leader wants. There are those who will always have their voice and opinion heard loud over everyone else. Community is great for those who know they will get their way ultimately.

We all have a need to be individuals. God made each person unique, gave each person their own gifts, and their own hearts. I feel like in community you have to put your own uniqueness aside for the sake of community. Community was on of the things that first drew me to Mission Year. Now its my turning into my least favorite thing about this year. I don't think this is way community is supposed to make you feel.

I feel like much of our community is forced. We have to do things together. I can find value in most of the things we do, but basically I don't have a choice. Most of the things I do this year is because I have to. I have to pray at 6am, go to Alterna meals 3 times a week and put on a smile, work in the garden on plant days, work at the after school program, and travel around Georgia visiting other intentional communities. These things I don't mind so much, most of the time I like doing them. But what I am SICK of is constantly talking about social justice and community and most of all REFLECTIONS. I am sick of reflecting on every thing I do. I am sick of having to make everything I do into a cause. I feel like we have ulterior motives behind everything. Can't I just do something because it's fun. I feel like our neighbors have turned into a project. I feel like the after school center was created just to make our group look like we are concerned with the poor. I don't like to do things for show.

We had to read about a community in California that has to consult with their community before they are allowed to have a baby. This is crazy. I'm all for seeking advice from those you trust, from looking at things from different perspectives, but ultimately I have to make the decision that is best for me and my family. I feel like just saying the word me is making me anti community. But I'm not.

I believe in what we are doing, but not in how we are doing it.